I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
