I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
