she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize