yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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