the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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