i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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