My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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