Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
