I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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