no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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