Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
