Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
