The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
