i just sent this text using only my big toe
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
