just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
