I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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