forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
