I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
