We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
