we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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