Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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