I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
