So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize