Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
