My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
