I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
