Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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