When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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