Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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