this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
