I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
