i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I will die if light touches me.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
