we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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