omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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