lets start a swedish sibling band together
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
