Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
