Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
