Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
