I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize