Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
