I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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