One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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