i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
