I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
