I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
