There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
