My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
