haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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