HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
