Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
