The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Are my feet made of real feet?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
