I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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