i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
tequila makes me forget i have legs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
