Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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