I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
