The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
