I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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