We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
