Tell her she can't have a vagina
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
