Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
