and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
