The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
