Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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