she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
