he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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