i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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