I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
