My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
