Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i now understand why vodka
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
